“Having it all” sounds like a dream come true. Imagine excelling in your career, raising a family, and living a perfectly balanced life. For many women, this is the picture painted by society—a goal worth striving for. But the reality often looks very different. Personally, I have chased this dream, hoping to juggle everything and emerge victorious, only to realize that the pursuit of “having it all” left me feeling stretched thin. I wasn’t alone. Research backs this experience, revealing that the concept of “having it all” is not only unrealistic but can be damaging, especially for women.
In today’s fast-paced world, women are balancing more than ever before: careers, family responsibilities, and societal expectations. The data clearly show that trying to maintain all these at high standards is not just difficult but nearly impossible.
1. The Gender Pay Gap Still Exists
While “having it all” suggests women can achieve the same career success as men, the gender pay gap proves otherwise. Despite numerous strides in gender equality, the wage disparity persists across industries and roles. According to the Global Gender Gap Report 2023 by the World Economic Forum, women still earn significantly less than their male counterparts. On average, women earn 77 cents for every dollar earned by men in similar positions.
What makes this even more alarming is that in high-level positions, this gap only widens. This suggests that even if women excel in their careers, their financial success often falls short of men’s. This pay inequality limits financial independence, which is a critical component of “having it all.” If women are being compensated less, they don’t have the same resources to invest in balancing family life with career development, effectively undermining the “having it all” narrative.
Not to mention, wage disparity compounds over time, affecting savings, retirement, and overall financial security. A woman who earns less is more likely to retire with less, despite putting in the same—or more—effort as her male counterparts. Thus, this gender pay gap fundamentally impacts women’s ability to “have it all.”
Data Source: World Economic Forum – Global Gender Gap Report 2023
2. Burnout Rates are Higher Among Women
Burnout is one of the most alarming consequences of striving to “have it all.” Women today are not just career-driven but also often take on a “second shift” at home, managing household duties and caregiving responsibilities. This relentless balancing act leads to physical and emotional exhaustion.
According to the McKinsey & LeanIn.org study on women in the workplace in 2022, 42% of women reported feeling burnt out, compared to 35% of men. This burnout isn’t just a result of high-pressure jobs; it’s the cumulative effect of handling both professional responsibilities and personal obligations. Women often feel the societal pressure to perform excellently in both arenas, leaving them with little to no time for self-care.
The toll that burnout takes on health and mental well-being cannot be understated. Chronic stress, anxiety, and depression are on the rise among women, making it clear that “having it all” comes with an overwhelming personal cost.
Data Source: McKinsey & LeanIn.org – Women in the Workplace 2022
3. Women Still Bear the Majority of Childcare Responsibilities
The concept of “having it all” hinges on the assumption that both men and women share equal responsibilities at home, especially when it comes to childcare. However, data shows this is far from reality. The OECD Gender Equality Report 2022 found that women, particularly in developed countries, spend over twice the amount of time on unpaid care work, which includes childcare, eldercare, and household tasks.
Even in families where both parents work full-time, women still handle the lion’s share of caregiving duties. This imbalance forces women to make difficult choices between career advancement and fulfilling family obligations. How can women “have it all” if the burden of domestic responsibilities disproportionately falls on them?
Moreover, the societal expectation that women should be the primary caregivers further complicates matters. While men are often praised for “helping” with childcare, women are expected to manage it all while also excelling in their careers. This dynamic leaves little room for true career growth or personal fulfillment, making “having it all” a near-impossible feat.
Data Source: OECD – Gender Equality Report 2022
4. The Career Penalty of Motherhood
Motherhood, often seen as a natural part of “having it all,” actually comes with a career penalty. The Harvard Business Review refers to this as the “Motherhood Penalty,” a concept where working mothers are perceived as less competent and committed compared to their childless counterparts. In contrast, men with children often receive a Fatherhood Bonus, where having a family boosts their career standing.
A recent study by Pew Research indicated that 51% of Americans believe that motherhood should impact career prospects, highlighting a bias that continues to hinder women’s professional growth. As women step into motherhood, many face slower promotions, fewer leadership opportunities, and assumptions that they can’t handle demanding roles. The path to success for mothers is far more fraught, once again making the idea of “having it all” much more elusive.
Data Source: Harvard Business Review – The Motherhood Penalty
5. Limited Access to Leadership Roles
Leadership remains another significant barrier to women “having it all.” Although women make up a sizable portion of the workforce, their presence at the top remains limited. According to Grant Thornton’s Women in Business Report 2023, only 25% of senior leadership positions globally are occupied by women.
Breaking through the glass ceiling is no easy task. Women often face implicit biases that question their capability to lead, particularly if they are also raising families. This lack of representation in leadership roles not only limits women’s career advancement but also perpetuates the cycle of unequal opportunities, making it difficult for the next generation of women to rise through the ranks.
The lack of female role models in leadership also affects women’s aspirations. Seeing few examples of women “having it all” at the top means fewer women believe they can achieve both career and personal success, further perpetuating the cycle of inequality.
Data Source: Grant Thornton – Women in Business Report 2023
6. Workplace Flexibility is Still Lacking
A major aspect of “having it all” is having a flexible work environment that accommodates both professional and personal responsibilities. Yet, according to a FlexJobs 2024 report, under the OwnLabs research report, 67% of managers think it likely that within the next year, their employer will be changing their policies surrounding remote and hybrid work, and this is despite 79% of managers stating that their teams are more productive when working remotely. Companies are pulling back from remote work and even fewer offer remote work options, leaving many women to struggle with rigid schedules that don’t account for their caregiving or household responsibilities.
Flexibility in the workplace is crucial for women who are trying to balance multiple roles. Whether it’s picking up children from school or attending important meetings, the ability to manage time flexibly would make a significant difference in helping women “have it all.” However, most workplaces still operate under traditional models that don’t accommodate the needs of working mothers or caregivers.
Data Source: FlexJobs – State of Flexible Work 2024
7. Mental Health Struggles are Increasing Globally
The societal pressure for women to “have it all” is contributing to a global rise in mental health issues among women. According to the World Health Organization (WHO), women are more likely than men to suffer from mental health conditions such as anxiety and depression. Research conducted by UN Women in 2022 found that women globally experience significantly higher levels of stress and burnout compared to men, largely due to the combined pressures of professional responsibilities, caregiving, and societal expectations.
A Deloitte Global Women @ Work report from 2023 found that over 50% of women in the workforce reported feeling constantly stressed and anxious, primarily due to the struggle of balancing career, family, and personal well-being. Despite the widespread discussion around self-care, most women report lacking the time and resources to prioritize their mental health, leading to chronic stress and burnout. The pursuit of “having it all” leaves little room for relaxation or self-care, reinforcing that the expectation of excelling in all areas of life is unrealistic.
Data Sources:
- World Health Organization – Women’s Mental Health
- Deloitte – Women @ Work 2023 Global Outlook
- UN Women – Progress on Gender Equality
8. The Cost of Success is Often Too High
Even when women do manage to succeed in their careers, the personal cost can be overwhelming. A Deloitte 2023 report found that 59% of women in senior roles reported feeling immense pressure to meet unrealistic standards, leading to poor work-life balance and strained personal relationships.
The idea that women can “have it all” often comes at the expense of personal happiness and satisfaction. The pursuit of career success, without the proper support systems in place, means that women are constantly battling burnout and exhaustion, leaving little room for personal fulfillment.
Data Source: Deloitte – Women @ Work 2023
The Realities Behind “Having it All”
The myth of “having it all” places unrealistic expectations on women, pushing them to excel in their careers, manage family life, and meet societal standards without proper support or recognition. As the data shows, the gender pay gap, burnout, childcare imbalances, and mental health struggles make achieving this goal far more challenging than it seems.
This is why I founded B2L, a community dedicated to empowering women entrepreneurs and founders. At B2L, we help women navigate the challenges of business, marketing, and finance by providing cost-effective marketing and advertising services. We also keep women informed about the latest trends in business and women entrepreneurship schemes.
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